This is part Two of a Series of Articles on Compassion. Part 1 is here. Part 3 is here
Let’s say we do somehow get past the most obvious schadenfreude for others. How to act with compassion?
How do we know if something is helping or hurting?
It is said, first, do no harm.
Take these situations… how would you “help” in these situations?
- A crying, tantrum-throwing child is being firmly dealt with by a parent
- A patient is on a very strict diet to allow their quick recovery
- A homeless substance abuser is begging for money on the street
Would it be “compassion” to intervene in the first example of the child above? Should we stop the parent from being firm? No! The parent knows what the child needs. Maybe the child is hungry, maybe the child is tired and sleepy. The parent is being compassionate with that child, even if it’s not all kisses and hugs!
There is a second example of a sick friend on a strict diet. The patient asks you to sneak in a rich meal, they want to escape their bland, boring diet. You are his buddy. You really want your friend to have some great food! Would you be acting with compassion? No, you end up killing your friend with your “act of compassion”!
In the third example, the drug addict is on the street begging you for money. If you gave it to them, would that be compassionate? No, the person doesn’t know what is good for them! They will use your charity to hurt themselves, dig deeper into addiction! Maybe even die of an overdose!
Everything we experience in this world is composed of what is known as the modes of material nature. This includes substances, personalities, habits, and activities. It also encompasses the time of day or night, music, writing, and entertainment. Indeed, we can understand that these are the fundamental ingredients of material nature.
We can consider that trying to help someone is an intentional action. Being compassionate towards someone means acting to help that person. Being compassionate takes the form of charity.
Actions in the mode of passion give results that are sweet to start, but have a bitter end. Actions in the mode of ignorance bring results that are bitter in the beginning and bitter in the end.
The modes of material nature are three in number:
- Goodness
- Passion
- Ignorance
Only actions in the mode of goodness produce a desirable result. They may taste bitter to start. This bitterness nevertheless, is only if someone is not situated in the mode of goodness.
The result of charity is highly misunderstood in our world. Not everything we consider charitable is actually beneficial! There are three kinds of charity defined by Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita.
- Charity in the Mode of Goodness
- Charity in the Mode of Passion
- Charity in the Mode of Ignorance
Charity given out of duty, without expectation of return, at the proper time and place, and to a worthy person is considered to be in the mode of goodness.
But charity performed with the expectation of some return, or with a desire for fruitive results, or in a grudging mood is said to be charity in the mode of passion.
And charity performed at an impure place, at an improper time, to unworthy persons, or without proper attention and respect is said to be in the mode of ignorance.
The mode of goodness way to deal with an upset child is to let a parent handle the situation. This parent knows what the child actually needs. Others should not interfere.
The mode of goodness way to deal with a patient is to follow the physician’s prescription with food and medicine. This is true no matter how dissatisfied the patient is with a bland diet.
The mode of goodness way to deal with a drug addict on the street is to get them professional help. Seek assistance from those who are trained and qualified to help them.
How to “help” someone and not push them deeper into a hole?
Charity begins at home! To be compassionate with anyone else, I need to be compassionate with myself first!
What is that compassion? First, I must know the difference between what is compassion and what is not!
In a desert, say there is a mirage. If someone races towards that mirage, should I let them just run? Or should I stop them?
“trushna” is a Sanskrit word that indicates extreme thirst. This is a thirst that can never be quenched. An animal in the desert, running towards a mirage can never quench it’s thirst. In fact it will run to its death.
Similarly, conditioned souls in the material world are running, running running… Running with their tongues out, trying to get some taste, to quench their thirst. This they’re trying to do by pursuing sense gratification.
The conditioned living entities try to satisfy themselves by trying to satisfy the senses. At the extreme, this is hedonism. Everyone is on that trip, more or less.
Compassion is definitely not about gratifying the senses of a suffering soul.
The senses are like a fire! They can never be satisfied by giving them more gratification!
Think of it this way. If there’s a blazing fire, can it be put out by adding more fuel to it? No! A fire can be put out by cutting the supply of fuel and oxygen. But only an expert firefighter knows how to put out a really bad fire.
The senses are like fire, and sense gratification is like fuel. The senses can’t be satisfied, no matter how much we try to gratify them. They must be controlled for the soul to be satisfied.
Just like the expert firefighter, there are great souls who manifest compassion. They know actually what it means to “help” someone. We can learn from them and follow the process they have given us.
निवृत्ततर्षैरुपगीयमानाद्भवौषधाच्छ्रोत्रमनोऽभिरामात् ।
क उत्तमश्लोकगुणानुवादात्पुमान् विरज्येत विना पशुघ्नात् ॥ ४ ॥
nivṛtta-tarṣair upagīyamānād
bhavauṣadhāc chrotra-mano-’bhirāmāt
ka uttamaśloka-guṇānuvādāt
pumān virajyeta vinā paśughnātGlorification of the Supreme Personality of Godhead is performed in the paramparā system, that is, it is conveyed from the spiritual master to disciple. Such glorification is relished by those no longer interested in the false, temporary glorification of this cosmic manifestation. Descriptions of the Lord are the right medicine for the conditioned soul undergoing repeated birth and death. Therefore, who will cease hearing such glorification of the Lord except a butcher or one who is killing his own self?
This is what is needed. Not sense gratification, but a clear understanding of what is helpful and what is not.
Do you want a specific suggestion on how to be compassionate with yourself and others?
तद्विद्धि प्रणिपातेन परिप्रश्नेन सेवया ।
उपदेक्ष्यन्ति ते ज्ञानं ज्ञानिनस्तत्त्वदर्शिनः ॥ ३४ ॥tad viddhi praṇipātena
paripraśnena sevayā
upadekṣyanti te jñānaṁ
jñāninas tattva-darśinaḥJust try to learn the truth by approaching a spiritual master. Inquire from him submissively and render service unto him. The self-realized souls can impart knowledge unto you because they have seen the truth.
Want to act with compassion?
Be compassionate with yourself.
Approach a genuine spiritual master.
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